so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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