I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
