Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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