the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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