I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
