just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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