It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
