I think I won the penis lottery.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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