If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize