Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You're so nebulous sometimes
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.