Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.