What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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