I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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