On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
