i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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