I just made out with a guy for $7.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
