At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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