don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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