When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize