drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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