why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
