Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
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What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
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I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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