How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
