Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
