True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
