no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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