It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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