The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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