We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
do nipples grow back?
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