I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
