I wannas sexs uuuuu
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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