I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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