All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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