Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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