i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
