you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I understand Curling. That high.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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