Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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