Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
