last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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