He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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