Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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