Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
