You're so nebulous sometimes
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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