member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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