I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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