She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
