So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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