Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
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Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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