I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
