Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
love makes seman taste better
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
