Where is the hickey?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
