i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
