how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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