How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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