That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
