I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
