I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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