there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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