They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
