I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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