Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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