Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
