I didn't shave. On purpose
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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