Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
