You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
